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Can You Pull Off A Starting Five? When Women Try to Date Like Men

Saturday, Oct 23rd

Last update 07:02:40 PM EST

Can You Pull Off A Starting Five? When Women Try to Date Like Men


While recovering from an especially difficult breakup recently, I enlisted the ear of a friend and former classmate of mine. Fun and fabulous in many ways (and a little older and wiser than I) my friend listened as I shared with her the demise of my relationship.

“Honey, “ she sighed after hearing my story, an account she seemed to have heard many times, “What you need is a Starting Five.”

Starting who?

Starting Five. Noun. Definition: A steady roster of romantic partners. Synonyms: Dating like a man. Keeping a stable of potentials. Date. Dump. Repeat until you (hopefully) find The One.

Okay. Cool.

My friend’s Starting Five model is an interesting concept, an attractive option implemented mostly by men (we’re being honest, here). But like Nola Darling showed all women in She’s Gotta Have It, juggling multiple partners isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

I’m not here to provide you with the answer as to whether or not women are in fact capable of achieving a Starting Five successfully, but rather a couple of things every woman who’s thinking about attempting a Starting Five should consider.

First and foremost, Starting Fives require being honest and upfront from jump. You owe it to each of your partners to let him know that at this stage, they are one of many. If one of your partners bucks, ask him to think of it as a challenge: the best man wins (you).

Another word about this: it’s 2011 and for the record, I don’t condone sleeping with multiple people. But if you choose to, please, please, PLEASE use adequate protection.· Every. Single. Time. Attempting a Starting Five—without getting burned (no pun intended) in the process—is the goal, here.

Starting Fives also necessitate a certain level of emotional dexterity. One romance between two individuals is hard. Compound feelings exponentially and all the feelings flying everywhere can leave a girl’s head spinning. If you find yourself generally overwhelmed with the duties associated with one partner, a Starting Five just.isn’t.for.you.

Add to the mix the possibility of being labeled a certain pejorative (hint: it starts with an “h” and ends with an “o”) by those who may not understand your approach, and a Starting Five may not be in the cards for you.

Finally, an ability to keep emotions in check--jealously included—is also crucial if a Starting Five is something you feel you could pull off. Make no mistake about it: men are some jealous creatures, too.· Realize as well the possibility of you yourself being a candidate in someone else’s Starting Five.

Admittedly, I’d be hard-pressed to find a woman who wants to seriously date multiple men at one time, anyway, Most times, and for most women; a halfway decent guy will do.

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